A school diary page from my infancy years.
At the very core of my existence is imagery and art, I see the world through eyes that connect to a mind that is for ever searching and always open to interpretation. As far back as I can remember, creativity and my imagination were essential to my happiness and wellbeing. It became a key element in my development as a child and my aid to communicating when I could not find the words and it soothed my soul. As a young child I chose selective mutism and when I did speak, I had a stutter that would come and go. Lego, plasticine, books and drawing, especially drawing, became an obsession. I drew on walls which was not always appreciated, so tiny pictures became a thing, and I would draw behind furniture so that they could not be seen and was hidden. Only I knew they were there. When we moved to a new home, I left behind lots of little drawings on the walls all over that old flat, my secret was out! Memories untold with words but spoken elaborately with imagery that told a story about the little girl that used to live there. By the time I started infant school I became a little more sociable and began to break out of my shell and I grew to be an active, fidgety child and a little feral at times. Unfortunately, my mischievousness was misunderstood, and I was often found standing outside the classroom door, not participating in the lesson at all, while there I would doodle and draw to pass the time. This became a common occurrence throughout my schooling, and I must say this is where I strengthened my observational skills and started to develop flair and style. As I grew into a rebellious teenager art was such a huge part of my identity, it was an extension of who I was. Throughout my life I have lost my way and found it again so many times I have lost count… but one thing that always has remained constant, is my creativity and my imagination.
So, this is where I pick up from my previous blog “Still Here!” Pieces of work that are built up with many layers and have no real focus point for the eye to rest upon, a bit like my thinking process at times. Not one singular thought but many to tame and make sense of. Where my mind is very much like a jungle and in it are my memories sewn together like strands of time, that connect with each other, creating my history, that form my existence and my identity. My story.
A large painting, I am currently working on, it is part of a collection of other work which explores memory and identity. It's not completed and still has a long way to go before it is. However, I feel it’s interesting to see progression and not to hide these paintings away, even if they are in a state of incompletion.